People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
