PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
