how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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