But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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