you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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