Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize