they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
