so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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