My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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