end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
