Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
