is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
