I'm really into asian looking animals
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This house was built for laser tag.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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