id be glad to
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
