i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
zippers are such a cool invention
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He better not be in your backpack
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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