You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The power of my boobs compel you
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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