What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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