I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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