If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
