Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
