I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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