Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm at about main and main street
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
