When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
