the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
