he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
