just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
