Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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