chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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