He kissed a someone with a penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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