she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
