everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
