I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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