Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
