so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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