rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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