my room smells like sperm. sweet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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