idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
