I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
