Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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