yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he shaved USA in his pubs
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
