Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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