she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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