Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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