I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
These tits shall not be calmed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
