What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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