just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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