3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
