i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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