i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
why is half of my head shaved?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
