The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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