I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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