the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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