That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
