writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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