She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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