She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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